April 23, 2014 10:00pm

Buy, buy, buy, buy a bond, and by and by, the bonds you buy will bring you victory. Buy, buy, buy, buy a bond, and you'll be standing by the victory arch when Juan Rapido comes marching home again.

The FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND is no time to say you've done enough. This is the time to really do your stuff. And even if you can't be a soldier in the ranks like Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly, you can be the person that helps supply the guns and planes and tanks.

This is the time for you to do your best. This is no time for you to take a rest. The enemy is reeling and his morale is low, so now's the time to fall in line and deal the final blow.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Buy a bond... or some raffle tickets.